Aaaal sorts aa stuff fae Sheltie land....
includes stuff fae Muckle Ossa, Little Ossa and Fladda.....
and any guest stacks, holms, geo's, kame's, baaaas, headlands, voes, firths, lochs, lighthouses, etc.

Monday, 22 February 2010

Muckle Ossa’s Eatery Guide - Harbour Fish & Chips (Lerwick)

This is a new service offered by MO. It is a very simple guide to the comestable outlets in the land of Shetlie. We work by 5 basic criteria.
1. Temperature of food
2. Speed of delivery to patron/s
3. Amount of edible stuff on plate (not counting salad!)
4. Cost
5. Proper chips (i.e. a tattie, peeled, cut and fried onsite)

A summary of the above will give a 'pickling mix' overall nosh emporium rating:
Best...........“Floats my tattie”
Good..........“My tattie is like a neesik, brackin da surface sometimes”
Owerweel....“My tattie is like a jellyfish, hingin idda water”
Worst.........“Need a Rock Hopper ta fin my tattie glued tae da bottom”

Shetland is famed for the food it can produce locally however it must be said it is rare when any of the locally produced stuff lands on your table. A pet hate of the Ossas is frozen chips….anyhoo this preamble will be added to as we think of other titbits for your information.

Harbour Fish & Chips, Lerwick - First Impressions
Being cutting edge and frontiersman the intrepid Ossas’ went out this day to sample the delights of the new comestable outlet near the Lerwick AAAAAAAAAArbour, more commonly known as the new Harbour Fish and Chip Shop. This is the first days opening and first impressions is that there are a small army of staff milling around the brand new and very shiny (with blue lights) friers and foodstuff display cabinets. All very courtious and nice, however a certain lack of knowing what was happening was evident. Ossa is aware that this is the first day and will update later with hopefully more positive news on this front. Ossa noticed that the batter looked a tad anaemeic however this may just be the batter mix. The donor lamb was rotating away nicely but there was confusion on the slicing of said lamb. The chilli sauce was strangely minty and not very chillified. There was an extensive menu covering anything from soup and sandwichs to a “munchbox” Ossa has decreed that you will have to investigate that one yourself. Ossa will have to revisit in order to see if progress is made.

Harbour Fish & Chips, Lerwick - SCORE
1. Temperature – Similar to the weather outside….
2. Speed – not olympic luge, more tai chi
3 Amount - ok
4 Cost – not outwith the realms of fantasy
5 Proper chips (i.e. a tattie, peeled, cut and fried onsite) – not sampled
Overall Rating:
Owerweel....“My tattie is like a jellyfish, hingin idda water”

It must be stated however, that this was the first day of openeing of this new trough emporuim & as such, a few allowances have been made. Hopefully after the obligatory 'settling in' period the ambience/service/nosh quality will improve. A re-visit will be scheduled sometime. It should be noted that this grub emporium has exceptional opening hours - Mon to Thurs. 07:00 to late and Friday/Saturday from 07:00 to 03:00....extraordinary.

Look oot for more eatery evaluations in the days/weeks/months/millenia ahead..........
Da Ossas

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