Green, tree-hugging, pot smoking, and CO2 emitting hippies are to be relocated to Shetland, it has been announced.
Following the UK government's plans to rely more heavily on nuclear energy, it has been decided to remove all anti-nuclear groups from areas supplied by nuclear power.
A government spokeswoman said "If these people don't want to rely on nuclear power, they can sit in their huts, in the dark, waiting for the next gust of wind or the next high tide. We're simply washing our hands of the lot!"
Conservative leader, David Cameron, has agreed wholeheartedly with the plans, however, yellow liberal leader, Nick Clegg is still against the idea. As such, he and his party will be removed over the coming months and will be replaced, seamlessly, by Alan "Howlin Laud" Hope's Monster Raving Loonies.
The government is expected to bypass local planning procedures by brining in a new act of parliament to ensure construction can begin without hindrance.
Public reaction is said to be very positive, many stating that this is the first time this government has actually "got it right".
A wander around Noss Hill and the coast - Clare's still away, Beren's was on a sleep over and it was a fantastic Easter Monday here in Shetland, so I went down towards Spiggie to go for a steady ...
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