Aaaal sorts aa stuff fae Sheltie land....
includes stuff fae Muckle Ossa, Little Ossa and Fladda.....
and any guest stacks, holms, geo's, kame's, baaaas, headlands, voes, firths, lochs, lighthouses, etc.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Da Cooncil funds Mushrooms

Peerie O was interested in the headline of  'Da Sheltieland News du kens' boy, boy, boy, girl, boy etc..........that da Cooncil (SIC) funds Mushroom. What kind of mushroom could this be pondered PO thus PO decided to research Mushrooms.

PO was amazed. There are loads of them. PO believes that the particular mushroom funded by the SIC will have to quite large and a bit hairy (as this seems to have been the criteria for the last large funding project of the SIC) which PO believes makes the most likely class of mushroom to be funded the Gastroid fungi (translated means Stomach fungus…PO rests PO’s case!) which includes the puffball (how apt, indeed), the earthstar and the stinkhorns (PO is implying nothing here) as well as false truffles.

This indeed looks precisely like the type of project at which the SIC would throw money. They already have some practical experience in this area, keeping the populous in the dark and feeding them horse poop, which was working well until the Audit Commission took an interest…..

Beyonce da Bonxie

Peerie O noticed Beyonce da Bonxie was visiting today.


Shetland Place o da day

Skerry of Eric’s Ham

Yell Colgrave Sound


da Sneck o da Smallie (Muckle O has been down there)

colloquially known by da soothmoothers as 'da Boxershorts o da Shove da Hapenny'

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Grind o da Navir

Peerie Ossa was havin a chat with the Ossa’s close neighbour Grind o da Navir and GodN was feeling a bit unimpressed with the whole pronunciation of sea features in Sheltieland. GodN requested that PO inform our intrepid readers that Ossa is not pronounced as it is spelt. The pronouncement is “Ohsee.” Whomsumiver, GodN had also been searching for Muckle Osla as opposed to Muckle Ossa so PO is not so sure that GodN is as cliver as dey tink dey ir!

Ramnastack has informed PO that Cloudberry liqueur is braly good….Po may have to verify. Muckle O has been v quiet lately…..MUCKLE OHSEE….ARE YOU THERE????? PO IS LONELY. FLADDA??????????

Shetland Fact of the day (and PO’s fav joke of the moment…)

Q - What is the most common owl in Shetland?

A – A Teat Owl…say it quickly.

Shetland Place of the day...

Kame o Riven Noup

(NW of Bannamin Beach, Burra)
thanks to Auld Rasmie for da link


Wednesday, 19 May 2010

What's in a Chair?

Up in Ossa Turrets there is mucho chagrin.

Chairs....whats in a chair? Well you may just think that they are for sitting on but you would be very wrong. They are in fact status symbols. The higher up the pecking order of sea features (starting at outcrop, finishing with sea stacks, ascending) the fancier the chair you are allocated. For the pleby low end sea feature you will be allocated a second hand chair with a wobbly wheel and absolutely, under no circumstances arms on it.

When you ascend through the ranks to management (in sea features this is defined as being in excess of 30m above MHWS) you may be allocated a new chair which does have arms on it. This is so anyone meeting you for the first time will be able to 'at a glance of the status of the chair, armed or armless', immediately identify if you are important or if you are just to be ignored along with the rest of the flotsam and jetsam.

Unsurprisingly the Ossas & Fladda have wobbly wheels and no arms.....and not a little chagrin. We may be taking advice from Dalzell Projects on how to remedy this unfortunatism. They seem to be able to sort out anything.......

Muckle O is preparing for da Hamefarin

Having watched from afar with longing at the general japes and frolics undertaken by oor human neighbours during their UHAa festivals Muckle O became dispondant.....MO knew it was impossible for the Ossa’s and Flad to join in but secretly wanted to be in da hamefarin parade. Peerie O and Flad felt very vexed for MO especially as MO is given to flatulent outbursts when MO is sad and of course PO and Flad are right in the firing line.....anyhoo, as you are all aware Flad and PO are not unresourceful and inventive so they set about a plan to lift MOs spirits (and therefore the gas issue). They went on ebay to find an extra outsize milliner, but could not find anyone with the capacity to do the job so next they approached Harland and Wolf and bingo, they had the capability so after much tooing and froing of plans etc they finally produced MOs spirit lifter and Botty Sealer. They bunged it on one of the coasters taking the gravel from Ireland (best not mention that in some circles.....ooh yes, anyone want to buy a crusher???? Anyone??? No?) and hey presto they delivered today. MO is seriously happy and the Botty Burps have ceased so the Ossa’s and Fladda are now happy and content.

Happy Hamefarin UHAa Muckle!

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Peerie O is impressed

Peerie O was indeed impressed with the flags and drums and singing yesterday. Whomesumever, PO was very happy that enforced consumption of Norwegian foodstuffs was not mandatory. Speaking to Cousin Sheep Rock in Fair Isle, PO understands that in some places on the Auld Rock they still consume that Norse delicacy of Sweed Sheeps head. Gadge. Parently da head is scooderd ower a flame and dan boiled wi kale an neeps ta mak a sort aa soup. PO would imagine dit dey ir bits o scooderd black flakes among dis brew. Only da very hardiest of tough straving peeps would imbibe dis evil potion…..mide you is Heston Bloominhalfwit reads this PO has no doubt it will be dished up on channel 4 afore ower lang! Gie PO a saat olik inny day! Cloud berries, that’s Norwegian puddingy thing. PO might try them sometime.

Belated Glade 17 Kanskje dag å våre Norsk hav vise egenskaper.

The Ossas and Flad

Monday, 17 May 2010

Its Norwegian Constitution Day

The Norwegian Constitution Day is the National Day of Norway and is an official national holiday observed on May 17 each year. Among Norwegians, the day is referred to simply as syttende mai (meaning May Seventeenth), Nasjonaldagen (The National Day) or Grunnlovsdagen (The Constitution Day), although the latter is less frequent.

Imagine Muckle O & Peerie O's surprise when a horde (or is it a gaggle or a toot) of flag carrying, drum banging and horn blowing Norwegians went right past our window overlooking da street celebrating the event. Muckle O managed to catch up with them on da pier & here's a few photos and little video of them. Happy Norway Day.

Whits all dis den.....

Peerie O has been experiencing strange sensations (nothing to do with Muckle or Fladda) I may add…..On Friday it started….there was a strangely familiar light which PO had a recollection of but it took till dinnertime to place what it was. The SUN, big whoop. There was also warmth for the first time since last August. PO enjoyed this enormously, but Muckle cast PO into shadow at tea time (selfish boulder!!) Fladda was even worse off.

Then an airbourne message from our pal Eyafjatlajukel has grounded the flights again. Some fine old academic was optimistic that this could go on for another 20 years…by which time of course the cost of grounding the flights will have rendered it completely safe to fly though an erupting volcano, in fact it may cost more to fly through a volcanic dust cloud….an added extra, they could argue.

I digress. Anyhoo hoping this dust is not going to affect POs sun tan. Oh yes tirricks. Dey are back! Been for a couple of weeks now. PO likes the tirricks but do dey hae ta mak sae muckle noise. Less time screechin and mair time lookin for fish wid probably do da numbers a lot aa good!! PO often looks an winders why day budder? I mean tae flee tae Shetland ta lay your egg when you pass ower some cracking beaches in Africa????I don’t know.

Anidder observation that PO has made, and if your are of a prudish nature stop reading now……….., ok PO will carry on now. PO had the misfortune to witness two ducks undertaking procreation. May PO say it was a bit brutal…The man duck leapt on da height o Jemima (Puddleduck) and grabbed her in da cuff o da neck a packed her head under da water….Jeez, it widda been ee thing if she was bein akward aboot da whole thing, but she hed a kind o resigned look on her face an just let him get on wi hit. Dan off he hopped an on ta da nixt een. If looks could kill…he widda been floatin belly up. Natures a cruel place PO can tell you….especially if you are a she duck.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

They've only gone an dun it.....

Well now they’ve gone and done it. We have a Collision Government….and no Peerie Ossa has not misspelt that! I look forward to these pair explaining away how they now going to completely ignore what they said they were going to do in their “manefesto’s.” Dang it all, if PO has heard the words “strong and secure government” and “working together, putting our political differences aside” once, PO has heard them 1000 times….but that is what it is …words. David Dimbilbubbly actually managed to bore himself last night wittering on about nothing while we were subject to aerial pictures of London…what was all yon about????

What PO was wanting to know was - is Masood going to realise that Seyed is still seeing Christian? When’s Ronnie telling Jack that he’s stuck with the NHS? When’s Billy going to realise that there is “Famwee” and “FEHWMEE” and by the way Peggy, Bill is a blood Mitchoow, not just married into the FEHMWEE….I digress…All the Ossa’s want to know is who was the Deputy Prime Minister before Nick Clegg (the Ossa can only recall one Deputy and that was old Pie Face Prescott)…. Not a very high profile placement unless you punch a demonstrator…..

Who cares anyway, we’re all rocks…

Monday, 10 May 2010

Whit's Le Happening......

Peerie Ossa got snowed on this morning, returning from a blogging holiday…..what the blue blazes is going on? It is apparently spring time and Peerie O has noticed lambs and stuff, and it is light till past 10 in the evening. Are we having a volcanic winter or summat?

The last time we had one of those as Peerie O recalls there was a revolution in France. Then Peerie was called Petite Ossa and of course there was Grande Ossa and Fladda was Le Fladda and had a 'nice little le earner' selling le sea cucmbers, le sea garlic, la sea onions, Le St. Francis of a sea sea etc…..however there is no revolution at the moment but Greece is bankrupt…just as Longa Tonga has gone on le holliwag to visit cousin Parthanon. We might never see Longa Tonga again!!!!

But, back at home still the parlimant hangs. Jeez the human lot complicate things. Never mind if cousin Katla blows her top nobody will le care!

Monday, 3 May 2010

Go (nuts) Comparing

Go Compare...........

Shetland teaching cuts threaten to unpick Fair Isle knitting tradition

It is a tradition that has been passed down through generations. But the art of Shetland knitting and the Fair Isle sweater it produced is under threat because of cuts to school budgets. Crafts experts have warned that a decision by Shetland Islands Council to save £130,000 by offering redundancy to its 14 knitting teachers would be a tragedy for Shetland culture.

Kathy Coull, who runs a textile workshop on Fair Isle, said the move would “wipe out an entire generation of knitters”. She added: “The schools programme is essential to keep the skills alive as it is getting the young ones interested that is important. Considering the amount the council will save, it will do severe damage to our heritage.”

For decades knitting has been taught to children in Shetland’s 24 primary schools, keeping alive a craft that has produced garments worn by the rich and famous from royalty to rock stars. Since the Prince of Wales took to wearing a Fair Isle sweater in the 1920s, the geometric style has become a fashion staple in wardrobes of stars including Sophia Loren, Carmen Electra and Victoria Beckham.

Now it’s feared that not only the knitting classes will be lost, but also the skills and patterns that date back centuries. Helen Budge, the council’s head of schools, has admitted that there was a “political risk” to the decision, as it “could be seen as detrimental to the cultural tradition of Shetland”.

Susan Johnson, secretary of the Shetland Guild of Spinners, Weavers and Dyers, said yesterday: “For about 60 years, knitting tradition has been taught in Shetland’s schools. With the climate of budget cuts everywhere, something has to go and I suppose it’s an easy option to cut out the knitting.”

Knitting has been a mainstay of Shetland’s arts and crafts and contributed to its economy for centuries, dating to the introduction of sheep to the islands in the 9th century by Norse settlers.By the end of the 19th century, the knitters on Fair Isle had achieved fame for their specific style. Islanders traded with passing ships, bartering homemade woollens for exotic goods.

Although the Shetland trade has been diminished by cheaper, overseas manufacturers there has been a recent resurgence throughout Britain and beyond in the popularity of knitting and knitwear. The guild of spinners has members from as far afield as Japan and America.

“There’s been a real resurgence of interest in knitting over the past three or four years,” Miss Johnson said. “You couldn’t get hold of any knitting magazines a while back, but now you can’t move for them.

“In the old days, everyone did knitting at home but gradually it has evolved. It has been in the doldrums with the advent of knitting machines and central heating, but over the last few years there has been a resurgence in it, with ‘Stitch ‘n Bitch’ \ and people who knit on the London Tube. It seems a shame to stop teaching when there is this interest.”

At the moment every pupil on the islands is taught throughout their primary education, giving them a grounding in basic techniques and Fair Isle patterns. The teachers travel around the schools and offer about two hours’ instruction a week.

The decision to end the teaching will be ratified at a meeting of the council’s services committee this week. It is a tradition that has been passed down through generations. But the art of Shetland knitting and the Fair Isle sweater it produced is under threat because of cuts to school budgets. Crafts experts have warned that a decision by Shetland Islands Council to save £130,000 by offering redundancy to its 14 knitting teachers would be a tragedy for Shetland culture.

But Hey ho - da councillors couldna give a monkeys...............