Aaaal sorts aa stuff fae Sheltie land.... includes stuff fae Muckle Ossa, Little Ossa and Fladda..... and any guest stacks, holms, geo's, kame's, baaaas, headlands, voes, firths, lochs, lighthouses, etc.
Ooooh Muckle is afil excited!!! It is his favourite time o da year.
PO and Flad finally let him pit on his froak today as it is aald Ne’erday da moran and he canna wait any langer. MO will keep his froak on noo until da end o Merch, just in case innybody gets a no show for dir Jarls squad he will be in dair like a muckle stane firrit! If you ken o inny body wha is short, plez consider poor ald MO.
He is been waitin fur millenia fur dis, literally. Imgaine da pageantry o the UPHa dit gets MO bring up da rear o da procession???? You winna hae ta worry aboot wind direction edder! Just set louwe ta da gally in da lee o MO leg! Mo wid bring a host o idder novelty items ta your UPha, things lik dead salmon cages, all bits o oil pipe, bows, seal, winterin birds. Only wan warnin, he can dance nane…I ken. I wis severely bruised under da waterline when we last tried a Boston I can tell you, although he reckons he is dat good at brirlin, dit folk stand clear tae admire his technique…..dey do stand clear…he right about dat bit only dat! He has a selection of froaks in various different styles so you dinna hae ta worry aboot him matchin your froaks kirtles, Po will make sure MOs a perfect match.
PO is yet again amazed and enthralled with the world around her. A couple of observations, plucked from the myriad of happenings over the elapsed time from when she last put rocky promantary to keyboard........
Recently Po has been suffering a few aches and pains, probably as a result of standing in one position in her new career as mime artist. On advice from Nursey Taing PO tried to make an appointment to see a Rock Doctor at the Sletts Rock Health Centre. Here follows the conversation at the “Appointments Desk”
PO - “I would like to make an appointment plez.”
Receptorock – “sorry we can’t do that”
PO – “eh?”
Receptorock – “You cannot make an appointment, you have to phone in and make a triage appointment.”
PO – “ But I am here, and would like to make an appointment to see a Rock Dr. Nursey Taing said I had to. I don’t want an appointment today or anything. I know you are busy with the Haddock flu outbreak. In a couple of weeks would be fine.”
Receptorock – “I’m sorry we can’t do that. You should phone in between 0830 hrs and 1100hrs and a Rock Dr will phone you back and decide if you need an appointment”
PO – “But Nursey Taing said….”
Receptorock – “Sorry…..it is the new system. You cannot make an appointment”
PO – “okay….so I go home and phone and wait till a Rock Dr phones me back…”
Receptorock – “Yes.”
PO returns to Ossa Towers. 1045hrs. Phones the Appointments Line.15 mins of tinkly muzak later
PO -“I would like an appointment plez”
Receptorock - “I will get a Rock Dr to phone you back today”
PO -“will this be before lunch? I have work to do?”
Receptorock - “hopefully, but we are very busy.”
1400hrs PO phones Appointments line. 10 mins tinkly muzak
PO -“I am still waiting for a Rock Dr to phone. I have stuff to do and I can’t use my phone in case the Rock Dr phones. I feel like I am under house arrest”
Receptorock - “The Rock Dr is very busy, they will get back to you but I don’t know when.”
PO -“can I be put on to tomorrows list?”
PO - “Look I know none of this is the idea of the Receporocks, but would you plez pass on my message to the Rock HC manager? This has to be the most ridiculous system I have come across yet. I literally am unable to make an appointment unless l am prepared to give over a day of my time to house arrest….”
Receptorock -“You are on tomorrows list.”
Next, PO now knows why Shetlieland Arty Trows employs big consultancies to help them with naming and advertising stuff. Obviously austerity measures have been deployed and they are doing things themselves…Recently they have acquired the old hatchery building at Kergord. They will be using it for arty stuff. The name they have given this facility?? “The Hatchery.” Come on you lot…you are paid to be creative! What about “Da Stenkle Shed” or “Da Clatchin Hut”
Never mind, you can use the “knackered portable wind turbine” as a sign post….recycling at its best!