The world's largest fire festival, Up-Helly-Aa, held on the last Tuesday of January in the Shetland Islands town of Lerwick in the far north of Scotland when 1,000 men dressed as Vikings parade the streets brandishing flaming torches, is believed to have re-started global warming.
The annual festival culminates in the burning of a replica Viking longship that leads the massive parade of torch-lit modern day Vikings. All 1,000 blazing wooden torches are thrown into the ship amid cheers and enthusiastic Victorian-styled singing.
As you can imagine, all this blatant disregard for the environment pumps tons of carbon into the Shetland night sky to add to the overload already there.
The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) have been worried lately because global warming has ceased to be for the past 10 years. In fact, there is compelling evidence that the planet has actually been cooling over this time. Now, however, scientists say there is early, but encouraging evidence that this year's Up-Helly-Aa has re-started global warming.
This is really good news for the many climate scientists whose lives depend on research grants to study climate change. With a stagnant situation over the past 10 years when temperatures may even have fallen slightly, research grant money has been increasingly hard to come by. Now, however, as a result of this year's Up-Helly-Aa, it's all go again with the gravy train back on track.
The IPCC are considering nominating the Lerwick Up-Helly-Aa committee for next year's Nobel Piece (of crap) Prize for their outstanding contribution to hard up scientists.
Story by Caspar